The Yellow Tabs

During the visit to the Hillsborough County Medical Examiner, we viewed something extreme.  But I'm not going to talk about that -- I'm sure everyone else is, anyway.  The class went on a tour with Chief Medical Examiner, Vernard Adams.  He took us through the clerical files and answered some of our questions about the deaths and statistics that come through his office every year.  The different causes of death were organized by color of tabs on the files.  In 2009, there were 1,995 investigations conducted on bodies.  Of those 1,995 bodies, 600 were non-traffic accidents, 200 were traffic accidents, 68 were homicides, 900 were natural causes and 200 were suicides. Two hundred were suicides.  Two hundred yellow tabs.  Two hundred people in Hillsborough County were so unhappy with their lives that they decided to end it themselves.

Suicide rates have risen in the United States since 1995 and are continuing to rise.  In Florida, suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-24 years olds. It is also the second leading cause of death for 25-34 year olds.  My uncle happens to fall into this category.  At the age of 32, my father’s brother decided to take his own life.  I was only three at the time and it still affects me to this very day.  I was shocked to know there are about 200 people who took their own lives in Hillsborough County last year.  Suicides are something many people don’t talk about.  I always thought it was extremely rare until the trip yesterday. 

I was so surprised to see the amount of yellow tabs that accumulated over the years.  It really is sad to see how many people would actually go through with the act itself.  Let alone how selfish of an act it is.  My uncle put a gun to his head and didn’t think of his three-year-old niece who loves him.  He didn’t think of his brothers, his mother and the rest of his family and friends who love him.  He was so unhappy with his life that he had to make ours miserable as well.  So, he pulled the trigger.  And that was that.  We’ve gone through years of heartache and pure dismay because of one split second.  This is something I never speak about because it is so hurtful still 18 years later.  Then I realized how many people in Hillsborough County alone go through what I go through year after year.  It’s good to not feel so alone.